


I know what the bottom half of my girlfriends face looks like

by ReedBalloon



Category: Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 14:15:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11899479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReedBalloon/pseuds/ReedBalloon
Summary: “I kissed Carmilla.”“That’s allowed, she is your girlfriend.”“As Atlas.”“You kissed your girlfriend as the crime fighting alter ego that she hates?”Laura's a superhero. She just hasn't got round to telling Carmilla yet.





	I know what the bottom half of my girlfriends face looks like

Laura met Carmilla Karnstein for the first time twice, once as herself and once as Atlas.

After an experiment at her friend’s college lab had given her slowly developing super strength, Laura had tried to help people. She aimed for superhero but instead was given the title vigilante, and she supposed it shouldn’t matter as long as the good guys won and the bad guys lost.

In two years her powers slowly kicked in and she went from trainee nurse to barista with crime fighting on the side.

Her city wasn’t exactly awash with criminal organisations or drug trafficking, as she had allowed herself to believe, but occasionally she would stop a robbery or save someone from a beating, and it made adjusting to life with super strength worth it.

She’d been dubbed Atlas by the media, after she’d held a bus above her head with one hand whilst ushering people out the way with the other, and rolled with it as it was better than many others she’d heard.

She took to patrolling the streets on the nights when she didn’t have the morning shift the next day. Muggers became the bane of her life, and she spent a lot more time than she’d like to admit aimlessly walking around looking for excitement.

Excitement came one night in the form of four guys facing down one angry looking girl.

“We want our money.”

“Fuck off.”

Laura stood behind them and politely coughed. The men turned and two of them flinched, while the girl just looked even more furious.

“Is there a problem?” Laura said. She had attempted variations of the Batman voice, but had only succeeded in sending Lafontaine into fits of laughter and Perry to shake her head sympathetically, so spoke in her normal voice. She wore a mask that covered the top of her face and shoes that made her seem slightly taller, and so far no one had expected little Laura Hollis to really be Atlas.

“Fuck off.” This was the girl, and the words were directed at Laura. “I’ve got this.”

Laura looked at the four men, now looking a little worried but still armed with large knives. “It looks that way.”

One of the men lunged for her, and a few moments later all four were unconscious and the girl was nursing bruised knuckled from where she’d punched one of them in the nose.

“I had that.”

“You’re welcome.” Laura scowled, used a lot more gratitude when she fought off four people with knives against one person without. “Is your hand okay?”

“It’s fine.”

“I’m Atlas.”

“Seriously? You actually use that name?”

“I’m just trying to find out yours.”

“Carmilla.”

“Are you sure your hand’s okay?”

Carmilla tried to close a fist and winced. “I’ll ice it when I get home.” She nudged the nearest assailant with her foot. “Did you kill them?”

“No!” Laura squawked. “No killing.”

Carmilla raised her eyebrow. “Okay, easy, just would make my life easier.”

“No killing,” Laura emphasised. “Why were they attacking you?”

“Technically they hadn’t attacked me yet. Would that could as assault or self-defence?”

“They were going to attack you.”

“Would you announce your name as Atlas in a court of law?”

“Can you answer my question?”

“Silly me, like you’d ever get hauled up in front of a court of law.”

“I get the feeling you don’t like me.”

Carmilla surveyed her coolly, eyeing the boots Laura no longer thought was so great, the black clothes she suddenly wished had a bit more too them, before settling on the mask that Laura regretting not putting more time into.

“You make my job near impossible.”

“What’s your job?”

“Cop.”

“Ah.”

“I was undercover, so thanks for screwing that up.”

“Oh.”

“Now I get to charge them with getting their asses kicked by a superhero, and not much else.”

“I’m sorry.”

Carmilla shook her head. “Whatever.”

She took out her phone and turned away. Laura felt like it was a dismissal, and quickly left.

//

Laura had noticed the gradual shift towards super strength after she had picked up her fourth phone and broke it. A confused phone call to Lafontaine had caused them to explain that, no, they were sure what that gas was that Laura inhaled and, yes, she should definitely visit them again to run some tests.

Over two years she had just gotten stronger, yet developed no muscles. She gave up nursing after she broke a patients hand by holding it too hard, and had to learn what the proper strength grip that wouldn’t cause bodily damage.

She couldn’t fly but she could jump. She could get hurt but it took a lot.

Lafontaine had supported her attempts at helping people, throwing together a costume and helping her test her powers, whilst still holding a bit of guilt for making Laura that way.

Perry was more reluctant, but agreed to help so that Laura wouldn’t get herself killed.

They moved so they were in the same city as her, and took the time to make sure Laura was regarding her own wellbeing with the same importance she regarded others.

They invited her out one night, and that was the second time she met Carmilla, but the first time Carmilla had met her.

The bar was loud and uninviting, but Laura was enjoying being with her friends for a night instead of walking the streets. She was waiting to order drinks at the bar when Carmilla appeared next to her, stealing the waitress who asked who was next and placing the order for five cocktails and ten shots.

She smirked over at Laura when she huffed.

“Problem, cutie?” she said, leaning against the bar and skating her eyes over Laura much like she had done two weeks previously when, Laura maintained, she had essentially saved her life.

“I was next.”

“Should have spoken up.” Laura crossed her arms, which only made Carmilla smirk more. “What are you having?”

She placed Laura’s order for three beers on top of her own, smiling sideways at her when Laura murmured a thank you.

“I’m Carmilla.”

“Laura.”

Laura liked it when Carmilla looked at her with a small amount of fondness and not the distain she seemed to hold for Atlas.

She was about to speak when Lafontaine appeared at her side, throwing an arm over her shoulder.

“What’s taking so long, Hollis?” They looked at Carmilla and straightened. “Oh. It’s you. Hi.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Meant to be drinking but someone,” They nudged Laura, “is taking their sweet time.”

“You two know each other?” Laura asked.

Lafontaine seemed suddenly not as at ease, and Carmilla was scowling again.

“She arrested me once. Not a big deal.”

“A big deal, brains, you were building bombs.”

“Technically I was never charged and there was no evidence, and it was for experiments.”

Carmilla scoffed. “Of course it was.”

“Anyway, we’re all square now. So I’ll just go wait with Perry.” They nudged Laura again, shrugged and smiled sheepishly at Carmilla, and left.

Carmilla was back to scowling. She took the tray with the cocktails on and told Laura to wait a moment while she took them to her table and returned.

“They’re really not the type to build bombs,” Laura loosely defended. “Lafontaine, I mean.”

“I know that. I was trying to get them on helping that jumped up vigilante, but nothing would stick.”

She took one of the shots, handed one to Laura, and then ordered two more to make up for it.

“Atlas,” Laura said carefully. “You think they help Atlas?”

Carmilla looked sideways at her. “Don’t tell me you’re a fan of that Avengers wannabe.”

“I take it you’re not?”

Carmilla shrugged. “I like an easy life, and a vigilante running around does not help towards that.”

“Sorry.”

“Is your friend working with Atlas?”

“If they were I would hope they’d tell me.”

Carmilla hummed with a small smile. The last of the shots and Laura’s beers were poured and she picked up the tray, waving off the note Laura tried to hand to her.

“Your friend looks like she’s falling asleep.” Carmilla nodded to her table and Laura saw Perry fall sideways slightly and Lafontaine gently push her straight. “You can come join us, if you ever want to.” She nodded over to a table with four people, the two boys engaged in a headlock. Carmilla laughed at the look on Laura’s face. “Or don’t. See you around, cutie.”

She winked and left Laura standing at the bar.

//

“So Carmilla is investigating me?”

Lafontaine looked up from their work. They had barely heard Laura’s question about the cop from the bar, answering with their attention half on the results in front of them, but looked up at Laura’s tone.

“What?”

“Carmilla. The cop.”

“I was never allowed first name basis.”

“Well we met at a bar and not a police raid.”

“Technically you met in an alleyway, but I see your point.”

Laura had explained how she knew Carmilla to Lafontaine while they tried to keep Perry upright, at least until they finished their drinks. Lafontaine had told her how they’d ordered some shady stuff online, intent on finding out the best materials to use for Laura’s clothes, and Carmilla had come to question them.

“She was just suspicious, that’s all,” they explained. “Nothing to worry about.”

“She does not like me.”

“A lot of the police force don’t. Anyway, she doesn’t like Atlas. I’m sure she’d find you utterly delightful.”

Laura snorted. “Doubt that.”

“Just, don’t be worried, okay. No one’s going to find out, and I promise to protect your identity to my grave.” They grinned, returning their attention back to the papers. “Still not any stronger,” they told Laura after a moment of scanning them.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. Nothing new since five months ago.”

Laure breathed out in relief. “That’s good.” It was hard adjusting to new levels of strength and not crushing things accidently. The café didn’t pay her enough to make up for the amount of mugs she’s shattered. “Do all cops hate me?”

“Hate Atlas.”

“Same thing, Laf.”

“Not all. Most, it seems. You don’t read the paper?” Laura avoided the paper the same way celebrities avoided the comment sections. “You just interfere sometimes, that’s all. But you do good work and even they can’t deny that. Anyway, I don’t think it’s the cop thing that Karnstein hates you for.”

“What then?”

“Her mom’s the Dean.”

//

Visiting Lolita Morgan in prison was never fun, but it was especially not fun when Carmilla had to do it on a weekend.

“Them the rules, Karnstein,” Danny had said when Carmilla complained, passionately, in the car outside the prison. “You visit when she asks, she doesn’t kill you and everyone you care about.”

“Stupid rules.”

“I’d appreciate if you’d stick to them.”

“It’s cute you think you’d make that list.”

She slammed the door, ignoring Danny’s wave, and stalked into the prison. Whichever guards Lolita had in her pocket led her through until they came to a room devoid of everything but a single table set up in the middle. Carmilla rolled her eyes at her mother’s power play, and sat down to wait for her despite being exactly on time and it wasn’t like Lolita had much going on to make her late.

She arrived six minutes later, and Carmilla endured an awkward embrace before sitting down opposite her mother.

“How have you been, Carmilla?” she asked with a smile. It used to make her shudder, when her mother would address her with a sweet voice that couldn’t hide cold eyes, but she liked to think she was immune now.

Two guards stood by the door being her and a further two at the door Lolita had come through. Carmilla glanced at them coldly. “I’ve been fine. What do you want, mother?”

“Can’t I just want to see you?”

“Our regularly scheduled time are Wednesday’s, mother,” Carmilla said, “You couldn’t wait a week and a half?”

Her mother hit her. The guards didn’t wince or move when Carmilla took the slap and stepped back. It wasn’t hard, more an admonishment then an attempt at damage, but it made Carmilla unsteady when she sat back down.

“That was impolite,” Lolita said, “And I’m sorry. How have you been?”

“I’ve been okay.”

“I hear you’ve made the acquaintance of someone.”

Carmilla’s mind flashed to the girl in the bar, Laura, who had made a strange impression on her that she couldn’t shake. But there was no way Lolita could know that, so figured she didn’t mean her.

“I have?” she said carefully.

“Our resident vigilante.”

Fucking Atlas in the fucking alleyway. Carmilla sighed. “Yes.” She didn’t want to ask how Lolita knew about that, knowing her web into the police force ran somewhere near her.

“She ruined your investigation.”

“Just interfered with it.”

“She ruined our lives.” She didn’t respond to that, just waited for whatever Lolita had called her for. “I’m thinking of a way to escape.”

Carmilla shot looks at the guards, silently asking if whatever they were getting paid was worth turning a blind eye to this. “How?”

“Haven’t quite decided yet.”

“It’s maximum security.”

Lolita managed to make snorting mockingly seem refined. “Yes. It’s positively restricting.”

“I won’t help you.”

“I know, darling.” She reached her hand out and Carmilla cursed herself for flinching. She cupped her cheek. “I’d just like it if you kept an eye on Atlas.”

“I probably won’t see her again.”

Lolita shrugged. She leant back and smiled. “I wouldn’t count on it. You can go now.”

“That’s all?” Carmilla stood up quickly.

“I still expect you next Wednesday.”

“Right.”

“Goodbye, darling.”

“Yeah, bye.”

Carmilla didn’t tell Danny, who was waiting in the car for her, what Lolita had said. She’d asked, voice hard and controlled when it flickered to Carmilla’s red cheek, but Carmilla just shrugged and murmured usual stuff.

//

“The Dean as in the serial killer?”

Laura had shot ramrod straight and was staring at Lafontaine.

“Yes.”

“The Dean who almost killed me six months ago.”

“That’s the one.”

“The Dean who built a robot that could match my strength and then killed twelve people while I fought it.”

“We’ve established this.”

“How did I not know this?”

Lafontaine shrugged. “It’s not exactly common knowledge. I only know because I overheard something when I was at the station. And you refuse to talk about that night, so there’s that.”

Laura did refuse, and wasn’t about to start now. “But she’s in the police.”

Another shrug, and Laf turned their attention back to their work. “So she’s one of the good guys and just got laden with a shit parent. It happens.”

“Should I keep an eye on her?”

Lafontaine looked at her slyly. “Do you want to keep an eye on her?”

“Well, I mean…”

“Do you want to keep something else on her?”

“Shut up and do some science.”

//

A week later Laura watched a man in a mask climb through a window of the brownstone Carmilla owned. It wasn’t that Laura took the time to check up on her, it was just she felt the weight of twelve deaths sit heavily on her shoulders and if, and it was a big if, Carmilla was anything like her mother, Laura wanted to be prepared.

She found her address and walked by it a few times a night, not checking but just watching.

Men in masks climbing through windows was rarely a good sign, so she hurried across the road.

//

The man in the mask held a gun with a silencer unwavering towards Carmilla’s face, and Carmilla really wanted to find some part of her that cared. She held up her hands languidly, sighing and wondering who was stupid enough to think this was a good idea.

The man opened his mouth to speak when the window he had climbed through opened again and the damn vigilante jumped through, landing lightly and surveying the situation.

“Don’t,” Carmilla held up a hand before she could speak, the same moment the man turned the gun on Atlas, “say anything.”

The gun went off and Atlas leapt forward, and the man ended up crashing into the far wall and taking a painting down with it.

“That was a gift,” Carmilla complained. The mask covered the top half of her face and a hood bathed her in shadow, but she could see Atlas roll her eyes through the slits.

“You really need to learn to be grateful when people save your life.”

“I had it under control.”

“At least there was only one this time.”

“Did you get hit by the bullet?”

Atlas nodded but pointed at the wall to her left. “It bounced off my shoulder. Protective clothing. I think it hit your wall though.”

Carmilla sighed at the dent in the plaster. “You should be an insurance claim.”

“I’ve said that. No one takes it seriously.”

The man, still on the floor, groaned loudly and tried to sit up. Carmilla stalked over and kicking him in the head. She then knelt down and rustled through his pockets, finding nothing but spare bullets and a knife. She pulled off his mask and sighed.

“It seemed intentional.” Atlas was still behind her, not moving but not left yet as Carmilla hoped. “Like you were targeted.”

“Bobby Knowles,” she said, straightening up. “My mom killed his brother.” She turned but couldn’t read whatever expression Atlas had. “You know who my mother is?”

“Yes,” Atlas said. There was a measure of caution and suspicion, and Carmilla snorted.

“Is that why you’re hanging around here a lot.”

“I’m not…”

“I’ve seen you.”

Atlas started to shift awkwardly. It was strange seeing someone who just tossed a large man very hard into a wall suddenly look nervous. “Sorry.”

“Whatever. I knew it was only a matter of time until something like this happened.” She gestured to Knowles. “I tried to keep it secret.”

“You should phone the police.”

“I am the police.”

“Phone more of them.”

Carmilla shook her head. She suddenly felt very tired and really wanted Atlas to leave. “No. If I was in his position I might have done something similar. Dump him somewhere, would you? He probably won’t try it again now it seems like I have the great vigilante hero protecting me.”

She grinned mockingly. Another roll of masked eyes made her laugh.

“For someone who doesn’t like me it’s now a whole two times I’ve saved your life.”

“Let’s not be dramatic.” Atlas rolled her shoulder and winced. “You sure your arms okay?”

“Will just be a bit bruised.”

“Do you need ice?”

“You’re offering me ice?” she smiled. “That’s so nice.”

“It’s just ice.”

“I’m okay, though, thank you.”

“Whatever.”

Atlas smiled and she forced herself to not smile back. It faded as she spoke. “Will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine. And stop hovering outside my building or I will arrest you.”

“Okay.”

“And next time leave me to handle it. I don’t need your help.” She didn’t like the way she was being looked at, soft and concerned and pitied, and reminded herself how much she did not like a vigilante running around. She didn’t return the small bye sent her way when Atlas effortlessly picked up Knowles and went to climb out the window.

“Use the door.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Idiot.”

//

Laura saw Carmilla in the bar a few days later. She went up to order drinks, smiling at her as Carmilla took a moment to recognise her and grin.

“Hey, cutie.”

“Hi.” The waitress was busy at the other end of the bar, so Laura took a seat expecting the wait. Carmilla had a black eye, and Laura frowned and gently reached out to trace it. “What happened?”

Carmilla flinched slightly and Laura scolded herself, pulling back her hand and reminding herself that that was quite intimate, and she had only met Carmilla once, and whatever moment they’d had as Atlas didn’t count here.

“Just got back from a fight,” Carmilla said, “You should see the other guy.”

“Police stuff or just fancied a scrap?”

Carmilla grinned. “Police stuff. Drunk and very disorderly.”

“And you came to a bar straight away?”

“What do you do when you’re fresh from a fight with a drunkard?”

Laura laughed. “So you’re here alone?”

“Yup. You?”

Laura nodded to her table. “Out with work.”

“What do you do?”

“Barista.” Laura felt embarrassed telling a cop that all she did for a living was make coffee. For some reason she wanted Carmilla to be impressed. “It’s not that impressive.”

Carmilla just smiled. “The world needs coffee, cupcake.”

The waitress came over and Laura placed her own drink orders, asking for them to be put on her tab.

“Do you want a drink?” Laura asked shyly, “You know, since you’ve already got me some.”

“That’s okay, cutie, but thanks.”

“Oh. Okay.” Laura blushed at the rejection, going to turn away and jumping when Carmilla gently grasped her wrists.

“But if you want to buy me one later, when it’s just you, I’ll be open to that,” she said lowly, smirking as her eyes travelled the blush developing on Laura’s face.

“Oh. Yeah. That would be okay.”

“Just okay?”

“I mean, I’d like that. Yeah.” Carmilla released Laura’s wrist with a chuckle, helping steady her when Laura nearly stumbled with the drinks. “See you later,” she said, a bit too brightly to be qualified as cool. She blushed more as she heard Carmilla’s quiet laugh while she scurried away.

//

Her friends stayed for another hour, and then Laura joined Carmilla at the bar. She assumed in that hour Carmilla had had another drink, but the tumbler she was drinking from was still full and the smile she gave Laura didn’t seem sloppy.

She waved as the others left, then settled into the seat next to Carmilla, asking her what she was drinking and then ordering it.

“Is it just your eye that’s bruised?” Laura asked when their drinks arrived.

“Why, want to check out the rest of me?” Carmilla smirked.

Laura rolled her eyes. “Just worried that you came straight from a fight to a bar.”

“Technically I was already at a bar when I had the fight.”

“Carmilla.”

“Hey.” Gently pressure on her forearm made Laura stop talking. She glanced down at where Carmilla’s fingertips were gently tapping on her wrist. “I’m fine. But it’s sweet that you worry.”

Carmilla hadn’t seemed phased the two times that Laura had witnessed her in danger, and it worried her a lot.

“Okay,” she relented, smiling and sipping her drink. “Tell me about the fight?”

“Fighting turn you on?”

Laura spluttered slightly but recovered. “Good police work turns me on.”

Carmilla chuckled and grinned, evidently pleased with Laura playing along, and launched into a details and seemingly exaggerated account of her police work.

Later, Laura wondered if it was unethical taking Carmilla back to her apartment, given that she hated her other identity and Laura was lying to her through omission. By the end of the night Laura decided she didn’t care.

//

Laura thought maintaining a job, a secret identity and a girlfriend would be harder. She thought that it can’t be like the movies, where the people closest to the hero don’t notice the obvious similarities. She thought Carmilla was too smart, too observant, to not notice the similarities between the girl she had been sleeping with for a month and the vigilante she hated. But, she supposed, Carmilla had only met Atlas twice, and both times she went to great lengths not to spend too much time looking at her.

Carmilla hated Atlas but liked Laura. Laura liked Carmilla very much in return.

One of the three parts of her life was going to have to be set on the back burner. It was okay when she had her evenings free to wander around helping people, but now her evenings were taken up by Carmilla, miles better than stalking the streets.

Guilt at being selfish ate her, so she made some excuses to Carmilla so she could spend the nights on the street, only for Carmilla to become self-conscious that Laura was planning on breaking up with her. It took juggling, but Laura tried to find the best mix in her life. She was exhausted, but it seemed to work.

She didn’t enjoy lying to Carmilla. One night, wrapped up in each other, naked and warm and not willing to part, Carmilla had whispered about her mother.

“She’s the Dean,” she told Laura, forehead pressed into her neck. “You’ve heard of the Dean, right?”

“Yeah.” Laura hoped she couldn’t hear how fast her heart was beating.

“I always knew she was bad. I didn’t realise she was evil.” She pulled back, searching Laura’s eyes. “I’m taking you not running as a good sign,” she said with a small, sad smile.

Laura kissed her forehead and then her lips. “You aren’t your mother.”

“I like to think so.”

“You aren’t.”

“Tell me something about you.”

“Hard to reach that calibre.”

Carmilla chuckled and she lay back down next to her. Laura told her about her parent’s deaths and the way they weighed on her heart, seven years after, and she kept her biggest secret to herself.

//

It had been a particular bad visit to her mother. There had been shouting and rants and blame on Carmilla for putting her in the situation where she was wasting her days away in prison instead of outside, where she could bring the world to rights.

Carmilla had reminded her it was actually the twelve people she had killed and received a hard, swift punch to the stomach in response. She elected to stay silent for the rest of the visit, letting her mother’s words wash over her.

Danny dropped her home, looking gradually angrier each time Carmilla shifted and winced.

“We can organise an accident in the rec room,” Danny had said in seriousness. “Shouldn’t take that long.”

Carmilla wasn’t in the mood so stayed silent, waving off Danny’s concern when she got out the car and headed to her brownstone. She wanted food and home and Laura.

Atlas was standing in an alley, looking at her. Carmilla braced herself for her night to get worse.

//

Watching Carmilla walk into the prison had opened a pit in Laura’s stomach. Logically, she knew Carmilla wasn’t like a mother, was good and kind and dedicated her life to helping people. Had told Laura, in strict confidence and with her face carefully blank, about the ways her mother had hurt her when she was young, shown her scars that would never quite heal.

She had promised she was no longer in contact, and Laura watched her walk into the prison with the ease of someone who had done it before.

Laura was hypocritical enough to be a little angry and a little hurt at being lied to. She waited for Carmilla by her home, dressed as Atlas because she worried if she had this conversation as Laura she would cry.

Carmilla sighed like she had encountered a burden when she saw her, the street light not quite reaching the alley and bathing her in shadows.

“What now?” Carmilla said. Laura ached at how exhausted she sounded. “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t stalk me anymore.”

“I go by the Dean’s prison sometimes,” Laura said, forcing her voice to be steady. “I saw you.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “So?”

“You visit her.”

“I have to. She makes me.”

“How? She’s in a maximum security prison.”

“You really don’t get it and I don’t have to explain myself to you.” Carmilla was getting angry now. “They aren’t mother daughter bonding times and what I do has nothing to do with you.”

“She does, though.” Laura refrained from stepping forward. “What she did…”

“I know what she did.”

“It can’t happen again.”

“Good thing she’s in maximum security then.”

“What does she say to you?”

Carmilla closed her eyes in frustration. “You’re not hearing me. It had nothing to do with you. I go because if she makes me. Because if I don’t it’s putting people in danger. My friends, my partner. Maximum security won’t protect them. God, my girlfriend.” She turned away with a growl, rubbing her eyes like she couldn’t believe she was still talking. “Why am I telling you this? Leave me alone, okay, or I’ll make good on my promise to arrest you.”

Carmilla walked away without looking at her again. Laura took off the black hoodie and trousers, throwing them in a bag to collect later, and waited a bit longer until texting Carmilla she was nearby and was wondering if she could come round.

//

Laura came round and they lay in bed, her hands skimming gently across Carmilla and stopping when she winces.

“What is it?” Laura looked at her with concern. She gently took hold of the bottom of Carmilla shirt and pulled it up, checking to see that it was okay. A small gasp escaped when she saw the mottled bruising on her ribs. “What happened?”

“Unruly arrestee.” Carmilla attempted a smile.

“Again?”

“It’s a rough town.”

Carmilla pulled Laura down to kiss her before she could ask more questions.

//

She’d fallen off something high and hit the ground hard. Laura had never fought on a roof, and supposed it didn’t count as a victory if you knocked your opponent out and then fell off a second later.

It hurt. That’s what she was blindly aware of, as she staggered through the streets. It hurt a lot.

She found the door she was looking for. Carmilla was inside, and she had to pull herself back before she used the key she kept in her pocket.

She was Atlas right now. Carmilla hated her.

The door opened and Carmilla froze. Laura narrowed her eyes against the light that streamed. Her head, which hurt, she felt like she needed to tell Carmilla, started to pound even more.

“What happened?” Carmilla stepped forward, scanning the empty street.

“Fell,” Laura told her. She knew she should walk away, but Carmilla looked so pretty and so safe and everything really hurt.

“Don’t fall again.” Carmilla reached out to steady her, hands encircling her forearms and pulling her back towards the brownstone. “Come on.” She spoke gently, and Laura’s head was grateful.

Inside was warm and safe and seemed like home, after the five months. She almost told Carmilla this, then remembered who she was at this moment and stepped away.

“What happened?” Carmilla asked again.

Laura shook her head, but regretted it immediately. “It all hurts,” she told Carmilla, weakly and quietly.

She tried to step back but stumbled and Carmilla moved forward to brace her. “Take it easy. Sit down.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

Laura couldn’t remember why. All that mattered right now was that her body hurt and no amount of reinforced clothing could cushion the blow of a fifty story drop.

Carmilla was close and Laura did the natural thing that she knew always made things better and kissed her.

“Shit,” Laura was Atlas right now. Atlas couldn’t kiss Carmilla whenever she wanted. She stepped away just as Carmilla pushed her back, shock and confusion on her face. “Sorry.”

“What…”

“Sorry. I need to … to go.” Laura staggered backwards. Carmilla didn’t reach out to steady her this time, just looking at her with wide eyes and slightly parted lips.

Laura left and Carmilla didn’t stop her.

//

She recovered at Lafontaine and Perry’s. The pain retreated when she took whatever Lafontaine handed her, and she slept painless but still uneasy.

For a few blissful seconds she woke and didn’t remember what she’d done. Then it came rushing back.

She had four missed calls from Carmilla and two texts asking if she was alright and if she could call her.

Lafontaine found her in the guest room with her head in her hands.

“Does it still hurt?” they asked, concerned.

“I did a bad thing.”

“I heard you stopped a robbery. Could have done without falling off a roof, but still.”

“I kissed Carmilla.”

“That’s allowed, she is your girlfriend.”

“As Atlas.”

“Oh fuck.”

Laura groaned. “Yes. Fuck.”

“You kissed your girlfriend as the crime fighting alter ego that she hates?”

Laura groaned again and fell back on the bed. “This is so bad.”

“What did she do?”

“Pushed me away.”

“That’s good, I guess. At least she doesn’t intend on cheating on you with you.”

Laf had the audacity to laugh at Laura’s next groan, and Laura sat up just so she could glare at them. “This isn’t funny.”

“No, I know. But it also is a little. I’ve been telling you to tell her.”

“She hates me.”

“I’m very confident that how much she likes Laura will beat how much she hates Atlas.”

“You do not know that.”

Lafontaine sat on the edge of her bed as Laura flopped backwards again. “The longer you leave it, the worse it will be. She will find out, especially if you go round kissing her whilst wearing a mask.”

“Why did you design it so the bottom half of my face was free?”

“Full masks look a bit murdery.”

“A full mask could have avoided this mess.”

“Really didn’t anticipate you kissing people while wearing it.”

//

Laura was dodging her calls, so Carmilla did the thing she always did when she was annoyed and confused.

She complained.

When Danny answered the incessant knocking her face went from disgruntled to even more disgruntled.

“It’s Sunday,” she said, stepping back to let Carmilla in. “I get two days break from you, and one of those days are Sunday.”

“I’m having a problem.” She stalked in and rolled her eyes when she saw Kirsch. “Put a shirt on, man.”

“It’s Sunday,” he said, grinning. “Sunday is my shirtless day.”

Danny snorted and tossed a shirt at him. “Did you at least bring coffee?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Kirsch turned on the coffee maker while Carmilla paced. “What’s wrong?”

“Atlas kissed me.”

Both Danny and Kirsch froze and proclaimed “What?”

Carmilla nodded. “My exact reaction.”

“The vigilante?”

“No, Kirsch, the actual Greek Titan.”

As usual he wasn’t deterred by her sarcasm and just gave her a grin. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” Carmilla threw her hands in the air and sunk onto the couch. She thought she knew, or at least thought she thought she knew. But saying it out loud was ridiculous and would make Danny laugh at her. “She was hurt and in my house and she just kissed me.”

“Why was she in your house?” Danny asked.

“She just showed up at my door. Kept on saying that everything hurt. Was I just supposed to leave her outside?”

“Wouldn’t be completely out of character.”

“Have you told Laura?” Kirsch waggled a box of cereal at her in offering but she waved it away.

“She won’t answer my calls.”

“You think she knows?”

This was her chance to say it out loud and just hope she wasn’t laughed out the apartment. “I think she’s Atlas.”

//

“You really need to answer the phone.”

Laura stared as it rang, mournfully eating the breakfast spread Perry had laid out.

“I can’t.”

“Why?” Laf asked.

“What if she’s mad?”

“She can’t be mad at you, you didn’t do anything.”

“Now would be a good time to tell her the truth,” Perry offered. Laf turned to look at her.

“Changed your tune.”

Perry shrugged. “My initial distrust has changed. I like her now.”

“See.” Laf nudged Laura and received a scowl in return. “She’s got Perry’s seal of approval. Just tell her, L.”

Laura picked up the phone and answered, still not quite decided what to do.

“Hey,” she said, trying to keep her voice light.

“Hey.” Carmilla sounded hesitant. “You okay? I’ve been trying to get hold of you.”

“Yeah, sorry. Had it on silent.” She ignored Laf rolling their eyes at the excuse. “What’s up?” She started to suspect she was acting too positive when they shook their head.

“We should talk. Soon. Can I see you?”

“I have a thing. With Laf.”

“A thing?” Carmilla sounded dubious.

“An important thing they need me to go to.” Laura just ignored Lafontaine completely.

“Okay, well, later?”

“Tomorrow.”

There was a sigh. “Okay. Tomorrow. Have fun at your thing.”

Carmilla hung up. There was twin looks of disappointment and a little amusement of Lafontaine and Perry’s faces.

“Smooth.”

“Shut up, Laf.”

//

“She has a thing,” Carmilla informed the room. “And can only see me tomorrow.”

“Maybe she’s got a crime fighting class followed by a drugs bust,” Kirsch said with a grin.

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “You know, out of the two of you I didn’t think you’d be the one mocking me, Wilson.”

“There’s still time,” Danny said. She was sat on the chair opposite Carmilla and watching her carefully. “You really think this?”

Kirsch was still chuckling, grilling bacon and sausage while making toast. Carmilla took a moment to scowl at him before turning back to Danny.

“I started to suspect it about a few weeks ago. Believe me, I know how stupid it sounds.”

“She’s like four foot,” Kirsch said, “And cried at an advert about dogs.”

“I know that, but she just…” Carmilla tried to look for the words. It was a light nagging at the back of her brain, something she’d ignored and dismissed as ridiculous. But she was a cop, and naturally suspicious of most people, and too many things were stacking up. “I thought it was a coincidence that I started seeing Laura and suddenly Atlas disappeared from stalking me. What if she just found a way to get closer?”

“You think Laura’s dating you to spy on you?” Danny said, disbelieving, “Carmilla, that girl is so into you it’s bordering on annoying.”

“So we’re just accepting this?” Kirsch said from the kitchen. “Not even going to question it?”

“Benefit of the doubt, Kirsch,” Danny said. “Or more accurately, humouring.”

“Thanks, partner,” Carmilla scowled. “And no, that’s not it. Laura’s not the type to that, and three months is commitment to the roll. But no need to stalk outside my house if she can be sleeping in the bed.”

“Tangential, at best,” said Danny. “What else?”

“She’s so…”Carmilla waved her hand. “Careful. With everything she touches. And that includes stuff and me. Always checks in, makes sure something isn’t too hard.”

“Gross, dude.”

“Or too much.” Carmilla ignored Kirsch’s commentary. “And I just thought that was the way she was, but it’s like she’s afraid of hurting something.”

“Because of her super strength.”

“Kirsch, shut up.” Danny was looking at her closely now. “Okay, I’ll admit I noticed that too.”

“Yeah?”

Danny nodded. “Glasses, cutlery, tv remote. Your hand. Anything that could break.”

“Exactly. And the kiss…” Carmilla trailed off, trying not to be embarrassed.

“You can’t tell a person from a kiss.”

“I know what the bottom half of my girlfriends face looks like up close, Kirsch.”

“What are you going to do?” Danny asked.

Carmilla shrugged. “There’s a reason she hasn’t told me.”

“Your very vocal and well known distain for Atlas?”

Carmilla clicked her fingers. “That could be it.”

//

The news broke that Lolita Morgan had escaped, and Laura was running before the reporter had finished. She ignored the calls behind her, to slow down and think, but ran to Carmilla, remembering scars and words and that the best way for Lolita Morgan to kill her would be to take away Carmilla.

She wasn’t sure if she would answer the phone. Finally she did, and Laura didn’t stop running as she spoke. “Carmilla.”

“Laura.”

“Where are you? Are you safe?”

“I’m at Danny’s.”

“Your mother.”

“I know. I just got a call.” Carmilla was quiet for a moment. “Are you running?”

“You need to get somewhere safe.”

“I don’t think it’s me she’s going to come after, cupcake.”

“Please.”

“There’s three cops here and between us we have seven guns.”

“I’m going to be there soon.”

“Laura, can you stop running for a second.” Carmilla sounded tired, and Laura slowed to a walk. A brisk walk. “As much as I want you here, we need to go and apprehend my mother.”

That made Laura stop. “What?”

“Look, we can talk after. But right now I know that half of you is being pulled to protect me, and the other half to protect everyone. So I’m going to find out where my mother is, using the police work that you so eagerly ignore, and then we’re going to go get her.”

Laura felt like she was going to faint. “You know,” she said, her voice small and scared.

Carmilla sighed. “I do now. Go to the station. We’ve been preparing for her to break out ever since she was in.”

//

Laura arrived as Atlas. Carmilla was trying to sort through her emotions, anger definitely being prominent but not overwhelming. Laura went to approach her, but Carmilla dismissed it with a shake of her head, not wanting to attract attention.

Atlas was instantly swept away by Carmilla’s boss, told that if the Dean was in the city then they would find her, and when they did they’d need Laura’s help in bringing her back in.

Danny sidled up to where Carmilla was leaning against her desk, pretending to read files but watching the conversation in the office. The mass of people in the station were less concerned with the vigilante than they were with a serial killer breaking out of max.

“Definitely Laura?” Danny said.

Carmilla nodded. Any doubt had been dispelled by the phone call. “You know what we have to do, right?”

“We’re not using you as bait,” Danny sighed.

“They think they can just knock on a few doors and find my mother?”

“I’m guessing there’s more to it than that.”

“What’s the point of having the child of the maniac you’re trying to catch if you don’t use her?”

“Boss’ll never go for it.”

“Who says we give him an option?”

“Laura will never go for it.”

“I have the moral high ground at the moment and I’m going to use it.”

//

Kirsch was waiting around the back of the station for her. Laura froze, expecting to see Carmilla, unsure how much anyone else knew.

She took off her mask.

“Shit,” he said, “She was right.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he grinned. “It’s really cool.”

“Where’s Carmilla?” Laura hadn’t seen her once she’d been let from the office, told that she would be contacted the instant that the Dean was found.

Kirsch held out a phone. Laura raised her eyebrows as she took it. “Loving the dramatics,” he said, still grinning.

“Hi,” Laura turned and walked a little away from Kirsch, hoping for privacy, hoping it was Carmilla she was about to speak to.

“Hi yourself.” It was Carmilla, and Laura couldn’t detect any emotion behind the words.

“Carmilla, I’m so sorry.”

“We can talk about this later.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want you to know. It was just…”

“Laura, later,” Carmilla sighed. “For now it’s Lolita.”

“Don’t be angry.”

“Laura.”

“Your boss said she’ll be found soon.”

“My boss has more faith in his abilities than he should. I’m going to find her.”

“No, Carmilla, that’s too dangerous.”

Carmilla laughed. “You really think you’re one to lecture? What with your night time activities?”

“Carmilla.”

“I know. Later.” Another sigh. “Danny’s tracking me. Once I tell her I’m with Lolita she’ll tell you.”

“And you’re sure you’ll be able to find her?”

“Lolita knows who you are.”

Laura had that light headed feeling back. “Did you tell her?” she asked in a small voice.

There was a long pause. When Carmilla spoke she sounded hurt. “Of course not.”

“No. I know. I’m sorry. So what does that mean?”

“That if she wants to draw you out she’ll want me.”

“Whatever you’re planning on doing I’m not going to like it.”

“She thinks she’s got the upper hand. I’m convinced we do. Guess we’ll find out.”

“Please don’t do whatever stupid thing you’re going to do.”

Carmilla laughed. “I love you,” was the final thing she said before she hung up.

//

Lolita Karnstein owned seven houses in the city, and Carmilla was jumped from behind in the third one she checked, so guessed this would be the one. Sending in the cavalry, the police or Laura, would have alerted Lolita, caused her to flee. Carmilla on her own, unarmed and looking a little nervous, would merely make Lolita curious.

“This was your plan?” Lolita sounded disappointed as she stood over Carmilla.

“Part of it, yes.”

The tracker that had been in her pocket was broken on the floor, her smashed phone beside it. Carmilla pushed herself to her feet, rubbing the back of her head where it ached, observing her mother. Carmilla had thought she would be different, having spent nearly a year in jail, but she looked the same as she always did. It made Carmilla’s skin crawl and unbidden memories resurface.

“Was your girlfriend meant to rush in and save you?” Lolita’s voice was mocking, her smile filled with contempt, “I’m assuming you know who she is?”

“Yes. How do you?”

Lolita shrugged. “I had an extensive network before she interfered. It didn’t just magically go away.”

“If you knew who she was, why not expose her?”

“It would just make it harder to kill her.”

Carmilla’s heart jolted at that, but she kept her face expertly blank.

“And then what?”

“Finish taking control.”

“It was never your city.”

“It could have been,” Lolita snarled, stepped forward, a crack in the mask. “It could have been ours. No one was left in our way. You had the police. I had the businessmen. We could have been great.”

“I never wanted that,” Carmilla said, not backing down or away. “I told you. I wanted a life away from you.”

“How could I let you go? You’re my daughter and I love you.”

Carmilla let the familiar lie wash over her. “You’ll just get caught again.”

“We’ll go somewhere for a while. Then, once I find a way to kill Atlas, we’ll come back.”

Carmilla’s heart jolted at that, but she didn’t let it show. “I won’t go anywhere with you.”

“I’m not going to give you a choice, darling.”

Her mother drew a weapon just as the door behind her was kicked down. People and guns swarmed the room, shouting for Lolita to freeze, to put her hands up, to get away from her daughter or they’ll shoot. She didn’t listen, choosing instead to grab Carmilla around the neck with one arm, pressing the barrel of her gun against the side of her temple.

“If anyone moves she di-”

She didn’t get chance to even finish the sentence before the window behind them smashed. Lolita turned, pointing the gun from Carmilla and towards Atlas, but Laura was too quick, whacking her outstretched arm and pulling Carmilla to her in one motion. Lolita screamed as the bones shattered under the force of Atlas’s hit, sinking to the ground and being immediately surrounded.

“Are you okay?”

Carmilla tore her eyes away from her mother, who was now whimpering and holding her limp arm, and looked at Laura. Still masked, still beautiful, Carmilla found any resentment at the secret keeping seep out of her, at least for the moment. She nodded, wanting to kiss her, hold her, but knowing they could hardly do it here. Laura, seeing Carmilla looking at her lips, smiled slightly.

“Later,” she promised.

Carmilla nodded. “Later.”

//

Carmilla had to be checked over in the hospital, Danny and her boss making it impossible for her to refuse despite her urgent protests that she was okay. She had a bruise on her head, the ice she had been given for it promptly thrown in the bin on the way from the hospital room, but other than that was given the all clear.

She found Laura in the hallway, standing up straight when Carmilla came out and scanning her. They’d lost each other in the ensuing commotion after Lolita’s arrest, Atlas having to flee like always, but Carmilla had sent a text telling Laura where she was.

Looking at her now, Carmilla could understand why it had taken so long for her to realise who her girlfriend was. Why no one would ever assume.

Laura looked worried, ringing her hands nervously like she wasn’t sure what to do with them, and Carmilla rolled her eyes while pulling her in for a hug.

Laura sagged against her in relief, letting out a puff Carmilla really hoped wasn’t the beginning of a sob.

“Are you okay?” she said, clinging to the back of Carmilla’s jacket. “They said you are but are you?”

Carmilla pushed her back gently. “Yeah.” She cupped Laura’s cheek, glad to see no tears, and gave her a weary smile. “Little tired. But fine. Are you?”

It was a stupid question, given the situation, but Laura nodded vigorously anyway.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, “For lying. For not telling you.”

“I do get it.”

“It was nothing to do with your mom. Or you.”

Carmilla glanced around her. “Not here. Come home with me?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

Carmilla would forgive her, if there was even anything left to forgive. She’d have to come to terms with dating a damn vigilante, however, which might take a bit longer.

 //

Four men stood in front of her, backing her into the dead end of the alley. All held knives, all smiling like they’d already won, none expecting Carmilla to quickly draw the gun from her jacket.

“Drop your weapons.”

She pointed the gun at the middle one, the leader and, conveniently, the most annoying. For a moment no one moved, until the leader let his knife slip to the floor, two more soon following.

The fourth, a tall guy standing to Carmilla’s, apparently didn’t get the message and lunged. He was quickly knocked to the group by a masked figure jumping from the roof and punching him.

The other three took this as an opportunity to turn and run. Carmilla wasn’t concerned, knowing Danny was waiting with back up somewhere to stop them.

“I waited,” Laura said. Carmilla grinned at how indignant she sounded. “I actually waited this time.”

“You know I could have took him.”

Laura crossed her arms. Her eyes were obscured but Carmilla knew she would be frowning slightly. It made her grin more.

“The point is I waited.” She paused. “For a little, anyway.”

Carmilla wasn’t angry. She could always take credit for the punch, the guy still unconscious on the floor, and there was so many claims of Atlas being involved when she wasn’t that it was easy enough to convince people Carmilla was the only one there.

“Next time wait longer.”

“Stop getting cornered in alleyways.”

“Will you be home tonight or will you be roaming the streets?”

“I don’t roam.”

Carmilla made sure the guy was still unconscious and was going to stay that way before pulling Laura in for a kiss. Laura sunk into it and scowled a little when Carmilla pulled back.

“You do,” she said, before pecking her lips once and stepping back to handcuff the guy. “And I’m going to take credit for this.”

“Typical police.”

“That’s what you get for wearing a mask.”

“I’ll be home before you. I’ll get takeout.”

Laura stuck one more kiss, at an awkward angle as Carmilla was hoisting the guy up, but she made it work.

“Take off the mask before you order this time,” she instructed as Laura vaulted up the wall. Laura looked down at her from the roof with a blinding smile, and, not the first time, Carmilla wondered how she had managed to get to this point.

Laura gave her a dorky salute.


End file.
